Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Do Americans realize how much goodwill and credibility they've lost in the past two weeks?

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

ABC News anchor David Muir reveals how he feels about his 'Daddy' status - Entertainment Weekly

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Jane Birkin’s original Hermès bag goes on sale - CNN

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why are right-wing commentators spreading conspiracy theories about Haitians eating local pets in Springfield, Ohio?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Menopause Drug Reduces Breast Cancer Growth In Clinical Trial - ScienceAlert

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

5 ways Diabetes impacts the eyes - Times of India

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why did Amazon initially deny leave of absence to Alexis Scott-Windham, the Amazon worker who survived the New Orleans terrorist attack?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Does believing in God and Satan cause schizophrenia?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”